I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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