worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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