I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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