dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
