I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
