i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
