They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
