Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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