If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
