i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
