is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
