something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
