Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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