it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
