She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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