you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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