Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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