using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
