Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Nicole vs. Life
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
