Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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