ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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