How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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