i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
