I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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