just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
