Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
