Me too!
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
