I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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