My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
