my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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