I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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