I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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