I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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