You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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