Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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