grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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