Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
