What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
