If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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