your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
