My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
