He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
