So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
