Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
