I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I am one with the molecules
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
