I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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