how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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