just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
