i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
