no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
