Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
