i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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